Relationships: Teen Version

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KEY POINTS

• A healthy relationship is built on trust, respect, and honesty.
• An unhealthy relationship can make you feel bad about yourself, or scared of your partner.
• If you or someone you know is in an unhealthy relationship, talk to friends, family members, or a counselor for support and help.

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What is a healthy relationship?

When you are in a healthy relationship, you should feel understood and accepted for who you are. When you are in a healthy relationship:

• You trust the other person and can talk openly with them. You have a sense of belonging. You feel safe and trust that neither of you will hurt each other on purpose or harm the relationship. You trust the other person to care about you and support you.
• You do not expect the other person to be the solution to all of your problems.
• You treat each other with respect. You help each other to feel valued. You can be true to yourself and know that they will understand.
• You have common interests and are honest with each other. You are able to express your true feelings even if they sometimes cause conflict. Speaking up, finding out what's wrong, and then making a decision that works for both of you are signs of a healthy relationship.
• You spend time with each other's families and friends, and are able to have your own friends and interests too.

What is an unhealthy relationship?

Here are signs that you are in an unhealthy relationship:

• Your partner wants you to give up your friends or stop doing things that you enjoy.
• Your partner wrecks your efforts to quit an unhealthy habit, such as smoking or drinking.
• Your partner never lets you be alone or with another person. He or she is jealous and does not trust you.
• Your partner disrespects or humiliates you.
• You feel forced to do things you do not want to do. Abuse is one person trying to control another with fear, violence, or bullying. Abuse is not just physical. It may also be mental, emotional, or sexual. Cyber abuse includes using social networking sites to keep tabs on you, or sending or posting text or pictures to hurt or embarrass you.
• If sex is part of your relationship it should be something that you want to do and not done to "prove" anything. The words, "You would do it if you loved me!" are a warning sign in any relationship.

Feeling afraid, unhappy, or stressed are not part of a healthy relationship. It may be time to seek counseling or end the relationship if:

• You or your partner have cheated on each other.
• You and your partner often argue and blame each other when things go wrong.
• You are afraid of your partner or you have been hurt, physically or emotionally
• Your partner is always trying to change you and make you feel like you are not good enough for them.

If you or someone you know is in an unhealthy relationship, talk to friends, family members, a religious leader, or a counselor for support and help. You can also call the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline at 866-331-9474.