Child Care: Help Your Child Adjust

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KEY POINTS

• For infants and toddlers, get your child used to spending time with other people, and start leaving your child with others for short periods of time.
• For preschool children, get your child used to the people who will take care of him, and talk often with your child. Stay calm, and you will reassure your child.

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Going to day care for the first time can be hard for your child and maybe even for you. Your child will be in a strange place, with new faces and new routines. Some children may take longer than others to adjust. The good news is that most children do adjust after a bit and most even enjoy daycare. These tips can help you and your child adjust more easily.

Infant/Toddler (0 to 3 years)

• Let your child get used to being with other people. Spend time with your friends. Take your child places where there are other children and adults.
• Get your child used to someone else taking care of him for 10 to 15 minutes while you go outside or into another room.
• Next, leave your home for short periods of time. Slowly build up to the amount of time you are away from your child.
• Set a bedtime routine so that your child gets enough sleep, yet is ready to go in the morning. Give your child a healthy breakfast each morning.
• If your child will be cared for outside the home, visit ahead of time with your child. Comfort your child by taking along a toy or blanket that she likes. Stay with your child part or all of the first day.
• Label all of your child’s items ahead of time. Pack things you will need the night before and place it in the same spot each day. This will help mornings go more smoothly and calmly.
• If you breastfeed your baby, talk with the person caring for your child about milk storage and feedings. If you plan to switch to bottle feeding, do it 2 or 3 weeks before you start day care. This gives your baby time to adjust to the bottle.

Preschool age (3 to 6 years)

• Get to know the people who will take care of your child before she starts the program. This helps you answer your child's questions.
• Visit the home or center with your child ahead of time. Let your child get to know the new place by looking around and then doing things at her own pace.
• Your child may wish to take along a favorite toy or stuffed animal for comfort.
• Tell your child where you will be and what you will be doing while she is busy in day care.
• Let your child know who will pick her up and when. This keeps her from being scared about being left alone.
• Act calm even if you feel worried. If you seem calm, it will reassure your child.
• At the day care home or center, always say goodbye to your child. Do not try to sneak away while she is busy. Your child will learn not to trust you if you do. Make your good-byes short and cheerful.
• Expect tears at first. It is normal for your child to burst into tears when you leave or return.
• Talk with the person who will take care of your child about how you can both help your child adjust. Make a list of your child’s favorite books, songs and activities to help them get to know your child better.
• Allow plenty of time for your child to get used to the new routine. If she is still unhappy after a month or so, you may need to look at other options.
• Read books with your child about children who go to child care or nursery school. This can help you learn about your child’s feelings and fears. It also helps your child know what to expect.
• Each day, ask your child about her day. Talk about what was good and what she did not like.
• Try not to make too big a fuss over your child's first day.
• Even after being in child care or preschool for a while, a child may sometimes not want to go. A small change in the daily routine may help. One way to do this is to have the other parent take your child to child care for a while. You could also plan to spend time doing something your child enjoys at the end of the day. If your child still has problems, talk with the person who takes care of your child.
• Make surprise visits from time to time to make sure that you are happy with the way your child is being cared for.

No matter what your child’s age, take some time to relax, cuddle, and play together after day care. Spending time with your child each day is a great way to reconnect with her. Knowing that you love her and care about her can help her adjust to daycare in a more positive way.